What Not To Say To Children

We all have done it ... in that one split moment where we have spewed out words and lashed out in the heat of the moment.

Words cut just as deep and sometimes the scars can cause damaging affects for a life time.  Children especially are sensitive, extremely naive and vulnerable to our words and actions.  What you say, they believe with all their heart.  Hurtful phrases can trigger severe feelings of resentment and damage their self-esteem and self-worth well into their adult lives.

Here are some things you should really think twice about before you let them pass from your lips.  Remember, when dealing with children and young teens, it's what you say and how you say it that leaves a lasting impression.  Make your words count.

Can't You Try Harder ~ If you're not satisfied with their efforts during sports, dance class or school, they certainly won't be motivated any more and left discouraged.  "That was a wonderful effort.  I'm so proud of you.  How about maybe try it this way?"  Be encouraging ... show ... be supportive.

Do You Really Need To Eat That - Eat More ~  Might as well just say they have a weight problem.  If anything, this will foster a negative body image.  Even if you say they're picky or great eaters, young minds translate your meaning differently.

You Always/Never ~ Keep this phrasing out of your comments.  Instead try, "You seem to have some difficulty with that.  What can I do to help?  It's ok it didn't work.  Let mommy help show you how."

"Why Can't You Be More Like ~ Lord!  This will certainly make them harbor feelings of not being worthy and pit them against the rival you created in their mind.  Try to be encouraging in whatever they do.  Otherwise, it makes them feel like they'll never measure up, never be good at anything.

Don't Worry/Cry, It Will Be Fine ~ This dismisses their fears, their worry and how they are truly feeling.  They're still going to worry.  Ask them why they are worried.  Get them to talk about it.   Tell them you understand and there for them.  Let them know it may be scary because it's new but it might surprise them and be a lot of fun.  Let them know they need to at least try and you'll be there if it doesn't work out.

Do As I Say/Because I Told You So ~ Might as well just hit them over the head.  You aren't giving them a chance to figure things out for themselves and making the right decision with just dictating.  You'll make them harbor feelings of defiance and what they think doesn't matter.  If for example they want to play/hang out with friends and not go visit Gramma with you try, "Gramma loves and misses you and it's important we spend time with her because she doesn't see you often."

Just Let Me Do It ~ When your child volunteers and wants to help, don't slap them down if they don't do it right.  "That was great sweetie!  Let me show you another cool way."

Dress Up Ideas For New Years

One of the biggest nights of the year is right around the corner and with what we've all experienced this year either personally or watched via  the national news, a little celebrating is desperately needed.  But then, do we need an excuse for dressing up?  Nah!

There are times though we do get into a funk about what to wear.  So, if you're going out with your girl friends, attending a house party or going somewhere special with the man in your life, here are a few great fashion ideas.

Even though wearing something brand new feels good, there is a dress that is timeless, classic and we all generally have one in our closets ... the little black dress.  Switch it up with fab accessories like shiny gold/silver jewelry, classy pair of heels, chic clutch bag and a sassy hairstyle to finish the look.

Ahhh.  There is no other style that screams party than "Sparkles & Sequins" ladies.  You can dress up a pair of black jeans with a sequin top, add a little shimmer to a humdrum skirt with sequined hosiery, put a little snap into your step with a pair of shimmering platform pumps or simply go all out in a sequin dress.

Do you have a Black Tie event to go to?   "Black tie" doesn’t necessarily and always mean you have to wear a black dress. If you’ve got a fancy fete on your New Year’s Eve agenda, take a tip from Lea Michele and opt for a pretty pale dress. It’ll set you apart from the sea of black dresses, getting you noticed in a good way. 

Decadent Carrot Cake

Most of us generally serve the traditional pies over the holidays and even though Carrot Cake is a popular item, many stay away from it because it's high in fat and calories.  I found a recipe you won't feel guilty about using some great substitutions and it's just as delicious.

Ingredients:

Cake

• 20-ounce can crushed pineapple
• 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, (see Ingredient Note)
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 3 large eggs
• 1-1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup nonfat buttermilk, (see Tip)
• 1/2 cup canola oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups grated carrots, (4-6 medium)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened flaked coconut
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, toasted (see Tip)

Frosting

• 12 ounces reduced-fat cream cheese softened
• 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar, sifted
• 1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 tablespoons coconut chips to sprinkle on top if you like

Preparation:

To prepare cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 9-by-13-inch baking pan with cooking spray.

Drain pineapple in a sieve set over a bowl, pressing on the solids. Reserve the drained pineapple and 1/4 cup of the juice.

Whisk flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl. Whisk eggs, sugar, buttermilk, oil, vanilla and the 1/4 cup pineapple juice in a large bowl until blended. Stir in pineapple, carrots and 1/4 cup coconut. Add the dry ingredients and mix with a rubber spatula just until blended. Stir in the nuts. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan, spreading evenly.

Bake the cake until the top springs back when touched lightly and a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean, 40 to 45 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack.

To prepare frosting & finish cake: Beat cream cheese, confectioners’ sugar and vanilla in a mixing bowl with an electric mixer until smooth and creamy. Spread the frosting over the cooled cake. Sprinkle with toasted coconut.

No buttermilk? You can use buttermilk powder prepared according to package directions. Or make “sour milk”: mix 1 tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar to 1 cup milk. Whole-wheat pastry flour is lower in protein than regular whole-wheat flour which has less gluten-forming potential, making it a better choice for tender baked goods.

Scrumptious Honey Oat Bread

Thanks to my friends over at Lifescript.com here's a bread recipe you might want to consider baking up this holiday season because it's not only different but, quick to prepare, sweet, moist and nutritional.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons plus 1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats, or quick-cooking (not instant) oats, divided
1-1/3 cups whole-wheat flour, or white whole-wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
2-1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1-1/4 teaspoons salt
8 ounces (scant 1 cup) nonfat or low-fat plain yogurt
1 large egg
1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup clover honey, or other mild honey
3/4 cup nonfat or low-fat milk

Preparation
1. Position rack in middle of oven; preheat to 375°F. Generously coat a 9”x 5” (or similar size) loaf pan with cooking spray. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon oats in the pan. Tip the pan back and forth to coat the sides and bottom with oats.

2. Thoroughly stir together whole-wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Using a fork, beat the remaining 1 cup oats, yogurt, egg, oil and honey in a medium bowl until well blended. Stir in milk. Gently stir the yogurt mixture into the flour mixture just until thoroughly incorporated but not over-mixed (excess mixing can cause toughening). Immediately scrape the batter into the pan, spreading evenly to the edges. Sprinkle the remaining 1 tablespoon oats over the top.

3. Bake the loaf until well browned on top and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 40-50 minutes. (It’s normal for the top to crack.) Let stand in the pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Run a table knife around and under the loaf to loosen it and turn it out onto the rack. Let cool until barely warm, about 45 minutes.

Enjoy!