Leading Man

Model - Marlon DeGregori

Meet the inspiration for my next romance hero, Jeremy Steele, a rogue FBI agent who is as confident of the covert operations he solos and the women he attempts to conquer ~ Keepers Watch ~ a romantic thrilling suspense coming in August.  Become a fan on Facebook to stay in touch.

Which photo do you like: 1, 2, 3, 4?

Get Him This Not That For Valentine's Day

Are you thinking flowers perhaps? Wrong choice ladies because his mind isn't thinking anywhere near receiving petals of any sort from you.  Here's a quick glance at what's really on his mind in regards to the choices you may be thinking about for Valentine's Day.

What he thinks: Ooh, goodie goodie! I've always wanted to cover my eyes with cucumbers, spread mud on my face and be ridiculed by my friends until I die.

What he really wants: A professional shave. Straight-edge blade, barber: the only acceptable (and masculine) mode of high-end pampering.

What he thinks: Okay, hold the smile a few more seconds so she'll think I REALLY love a photo of us in a cutsey frame of our wedding day?

What he really wants: Va va va voom!!! A photo of you...wearing very little. And ... it's not crazy if you're in a trusting, committed relationship (a real must).  A tasteful, professional boudoir shot will leave him panting.

What he thinks:   Silk underwear ... with hearts ... really??? Did ya get me matching socks too?

What he really wants: To see actual boxers. Specifically, tickets to a boxing match. Or a football game, tennis match or whatever his favorite sport happens to be.

What he thinks: He's looking at a cute, stuffed teddy bear with a big red bow.  This gift is so awful, it has him reevaluating your personality, his choices and your future together. (Okay, it's not that bad -- but really really close.)

What he really wants: You in a teddy. Your gift can be the whole sexy-night experience, complete with candles and massage oil. Cliche? Maybe. But oh baby!  Not in his eyes.

What he thinks: He's looking at an outfit you'd like to see him wear and he's thinking to himself how many times he has to wear it before burning it in the back yard.

What he really wants: Clothes (that he likes). Like all gifts, it should be about what the recipient wants and feels comfortable wearing even if his sense of style doesn't quite match yours.  It's the man you fell in love with, not how he dresses.  

What he thinks: Candy??? I liked this stuff when I was nine.

What he really wants: Liquor. What’s his drink of choice? Find a classy, upscale brand (hint: the bottle shouldn't be plastic), and if you feel that you need to Cupid it up, just tie a pink or red bow around it.

What he thinks: He opens a card and looking at a gift certificate to the gym and thinking ahhhh what the hell????  Why not just address the card to "Fat Ass"? 

What he really wants: Something outdoorsy and fun that fits his interests, as opposed to a self-improvement regimen. Depending on his thing, it could be anything from bike gear to camping, golf or fishing gear.

Do Men Listen?

Of course they do … they’re just wired differently.  We get frustrated because our partners don’t feel us, hear us, ignore us or listen to us like our bff’s do.  So, what happens then?  We get frustrated, start to yell, hold back on being intimate because we feel like we’re constantly being ignored and he’s just not getting it.

In actuality ladies, it’s not his fault sometimes.  I can hear you all gasping at your computer screens right now, “What ????”  It’s true though.   Men react to different signals we give off.  And sometimes it’s body/verbal signals we’re not aware of radiating.  Expecting him to agree with you right off the bat isn’t going to happen.  When you ask for his opinion, make him feel as though his matters rather than recanting his view sucks and doesn’t make sense or, rolling your eyes, scrunching up your nose and shaking your head in the negative.  He doesn’t have to be right.  You just have to respect and appreciate his point of view. 

Men like to get to the point while we get all bogged down in the details.  If it takes you 15 minutes to get to the point of the question, he’ll shut down after the first few.  It’s not that he doesn’t care because men like to rescue and solve problems.  He just doesn’t need all the details.

When with him, make sure your romantic side is always prevalent.  Your guy is jockeying and competing each day all day long for status and respect from his counterparts.  Even if you’re a tigress in the board room, it’s a feminine partner he needs greeting him at the door.  He’ll respect you for your strengths and accomplishments.  Just don’t constantly verbalize them around him.  Your partner needs to feel like he’s providing all your needs and is amazing, not in competition with you. 

 

Guys can’t multi-task like us.  It’s not a bad thing.  We can be cooking in the kitchen while talking to a colleague on the phone and helping junior with a math problem nearby.  They just want to be focused on one thing, whether working at the computer or watching a game.  If you need the answer to something, ask him first if it’s a good time to interrupt or ask the question, give him time to think about it and come back later.

Are you a chatter box?  Do you ever pause and give somebody an opportunity to get a word in edge-wise?  Do you rant on and on?  How often do you start out on one topic then get side-tracked and lead into something else?  Men like conversation to be a means to an end not beating a dead horse to death or rattling on endlessly.  Their brains are wired to focus on one topic at a time.  Many times men think ranting is whining even if you’re venting over something that was upsetting and hurtful to you. 

  

It’s not that we have to know how to read a man’s mind that will lead to loving and wanting him more … it’s about understanding how your man thinks that will make you both lovers rather than fighters.  

Have You Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

Do you need a homing device to relocate your sex drive?  Nearly one third of American women actually “aren’t in the mood” and proclaim a headache coming on to cover up their lost desire.  We all know menopause can be a major factor and generally strikes women around age 51.  However, it’s not an excuse.  What many women don’t release is that active sex stimulates blood flow to all the right areas and a topical cream will help relieve the dryness that sometimes occurs and makes having sex painful.  So, the more you have and cream up, the more you won’t be saying no and enjoying.

It’s amazing how many times stress is a leading cause for whatever ails you.  When it comes to sex … well, that too.  We all know we can multi task with one hand tied behind our task.  Asking your partner to share in some tasks like bathing the kids, throwing in a load of wash at night or helping with dinner, will give you both time for enjoying each other.

Taking contraceptives so you can play without the fear of getting pregnant ironically can lower testosterone levelsenough to depress the desire.  Talk to your gynecologist about swapping brands. Birth control pills contain estrogen and various types of synthetic progesterone called progestin.  In some pills, the progestin behaves more like testosterone and can actually increase libido.

Keep a look out for the medications you may be popping.  Valium and Xanax can off kilter your sex drive while those taken for high blood pressure, migraines and antihistamines for colds and actually dry up the vagina. 

When it comes to sex or, the lack of, there’s always a reason around for what is ailing you to help you get back into the arms of the one you love.